A Time to Cry

We all have them. The ancients wrote about them. A time to cry. A couple of months ago at a marriage conference I heard about the medical properties — health benefits — of crying and tears. As the parent of an older adopted child, I am learning quite a bit about the grieving process my daughter has to go through from time to time. Sometimes, one sad thing leads to the surfacing of deeper grief, resulting in a time to cry, a time to be held.

Last night was one of those nights in our house. It stared with a good cry about being called ‘dummy’ at school. Soon the tears flowed as she shared how she wished she had two good eyes instead of one plastic eye. Then the sobbing as she confided in me that she missed her birth mom, followed by a whisper “I bet she was beautiful.”

To which I responded, “I know she was beautiful because you are beautiful.”

As the tears began to subside she said “I miss Daddy.” My husband is traveling this week, which is having an effect on her. She has done much better than usual in his absence, but the time to cry last night likely had to do with her processing her feelings about him not being around right now.

One of the health benefits of crying is that it actually releases endorphins in your body that make you feel good. You can read about other health benefits of crying here:



As Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 3:4 there is “a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.”

Our response as parents with a grieving child (or spouse or friend) should be that of Paul’s in Romans 12:15 “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”


To learn more about our adoption journey go to



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