Currently, I am reading the book Choosing to SEE by Mary Beth Chapman, wife of award-winning singer/songwriter Steven Curtis Chapman. After having written our adoption journey, Nine Year Pregnancy, I thought it would be nice to read the journeys of others.
One of the things that really resonates with me about Mary Beth’s journey is the daily reality of clinging to God for direction, wisdom, and hope each step of the way. On page 82 she writes:
“But I felt like I was making that journey one little step at a time, walking each step God showed me to walk, not taking matters into my own hands and churning toward where I wanted to go. I didn’t know where I wanted to go. I was conflicted and chose to believe that being conflicted was right where I needed to be in order for my faith to be put into action.
For the first time in my life, I began to learn to live the verse from Psalm 119:105 – ‘Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.’
‘God!’ I prayed. ‘I don’t know that I’ve ever been on a journey where I really needed faith before. I could always see the path just fine. But with this, I truly don’t know where the road will lead. I can only see enough by Your light to take the next little step. And the next …’”
Mary Beth writes with a real-ness unlike many. Throughout her book, she tells life stories on herself and her husband that many would be too embarrassed to put into print!
Regarding their journey of adoption, she talks about her true feelings each step of the way:
“’I’m willing to do this, Lord,’ I prayed. ‘But I’m scared!’ … I was scared I’d be the evil stepmother. I was scared that I was too unbalanced to handle another child … I was scared that life the way I knew it was over, and I didn’t like not knowing what was coming. Many, many nights my husband would just hold me in our bed as I sobbed and tears of fear ran down my face, dribbling into my ears.
The one good thing in my favor through all this was that I’ve always been a champion at paperwork, and the beginning stages of adoption are all about paperwork. … After getting every kind of notarization, state seal, and government authentication, I felt like I’d followed God’s path step by step, and now all I was supposed to do was wait.”
Paperwork and waiting … now that was something I could definitely relate to! Want to know more about my story? Sometime in the next two months my book should be released. To stay informed, “like” my facebook page Nine Year Pregnancy or check out the book’s blog: Nine Year Pregnancy.
To find out more about Mary Beth Chapman, visit her adoption site Show Hope.
Review by Delana H. Stewart
Read about and purchase My Paper Pregnancy Journal to journal your story.