By Delana H. Stewart
“Who is this person I call Mom and why doesn’t she look like me?” Here is an excerpt from an article I wrote last Mother’s Day about why Mother’s Day can be a difficult season for the adoptee (and her family). You can read the full article by clicking here.
Our little princess breathes new meaning of Mother’s Day into our lives. Mother’s Day often arrives packed with emotion. On this special day each year, I must recognize my daughter has a need I can never fill.
When I think about Mother’s Day and being a mom, I think about the joy and sacrifices of parenting all my children, however they came into my life. When my daughter thinks about Mother’s Day, questions like these may come to her heart and mind consciously or sub-consciously:
- Who is this person I call mom and why doesn’t she look like me?
- Where is my birthmother? Is she still alive?
- Why did my birthmother leave me?
- I don’t want my adopted mother today, can’t I see my birthmother?
- Why did I have to be adopted? Maybe my birthmother would have come back for me.
- I want to grieve today, why does everyone expect me to be happy and celebrate?
- I wish I knew what my birthmother looks (looked) like. (Or, I am starting to forget what she looks like).
If your child experiences difficulty on Mother’s Day, seek to understand the bigger picture of what might be the cause behind a very emotional day. For more, see: Mother’s Day for an Adoptive Mother: A Time to Dance, a Time to Cry.
What a Mama Does (or, When a Daughter Understands) (A Mother’s Day poem)