Reaching the Place of Thriving

A book review by Delana H. Stewart.

I just finished reading Handbook on Thriving as an Adoptive Family by David and Renee Sanford. Wow! As an adoptive mother and author adoption, adoptive familyof Nine Year Pregnancy, I can attest to the value of this great resource (and wish I had this book to prepare me back in the early years). But even in reading it now, there are things that I have gleaned that are helpful. Each chapter is written by different experts in their fields and/or adoptive parents. Topics range from things related to the process of adopting to a variety of issues and challenges adoptive parents are likely to face.

The chapter headings are: Welcome Home, Attachment and Bonding, Sibling and Extended Family Relationships, Developing a Support Network, Nurture and Discipline, Infants, Toddlers and Preschoolers, Elementary Age and Middle Childhood, Adolescence, Loss and Grief, Ethnic Identity, Early Childhood Trauma, Sexual Abuse, Drug and Alcohol Effects, Physical Disabilities, Learning Disabilities, When an Adoption Disrupts or Dissolves.

While reading this 275 page book, I took 11 pages of notes. I especially enjoyed the personal testimonies by adoptive parents or adoptees at the end of every chapter.

Some of my favorite quotes are:

“. . .keep in mind that the child’s most effective therapists are the parents, guided by God, the loving Father. . . .healing can be a slow, evolving process; however, be encouraged that some progress can be seen early on. Parents need to remember that parenting an attachment-challenged child is a marathon, not a sprint.” – p. 27, by Debi Grebenik.

“Remember, regardless of age, children who are brought into the family through the process of adoption are screaming out from inside, ‘Can I trust you to be in charge of me, to take care of my needs, to love me when I’m not so loveable?’”—p.44, by Rob Flanegin.

“Remember that the behaviors that frustrate you are very often intended to keep him safe . . . be patient and stay focused on the long-term goals of connection and relationship. As you do, you will be presenting a model of God’s patience and love for us.” –p. 70, by Sandra Lundberg.

“Take comfort in knowing that God has a plan and a purpose for your child just the way he is.” –p.239, by Michael Safko.

adoption, relinquished, abandonedSee a quote from this book used in a photo you can pin to Pinterest–Exactly the Right One (for our family)


see also:

5 Reasons NOT to Adopt

4 Tips to Prepare Emotionally to Parent an Adopted Child

Year for Year: Keys to Parenting An Adopted Child

Perseverance, Patience, Waiting, and Adoption

The Preface to Nine Year Pregnancy

Author Sings “God Will Make This Trial a Blessing”

Other Book Reviews by Delana H. Stewart.

Do you need endurance or encouragement for enduring? Click here.

Family, Mommy, Faith, Education, Inspiration

9 thoughts on “Reaching the Place of Thriving

  1. Pingback: What to Expect the First Year After Adopting | Nine Year Pregnancy

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  3. Pingback: Exactly the Right One | Nine Year Pregnancy

  4. Pingback: Screaming Inside | Nine Year Pregnancy

  5. Pingback: Adoption Support for Trauma Mamas | Nine Year Pregnancy

  6. Pingback: Prayer Request to Friends of Nine Year Pregnancy | Nine Year Pregnancy

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